'I Refused to Choose Insanity'
by Ginny Nilsen
There are many opportunities when a person has to step back and decide which path he or she will take to have a life of peace, health and purpose. Like some of you, there came a time when I stood at a crossroad with an important choice to make that could change my life for the better. A clear and immediate decision was needed, although it was unknown to me at the time. That moment would ultimately move me to a deep understanding of personal peace and a feeling of being cared for and love. Equally important, that experience described below would later lead me to a life of helping others.
One afternoon, I found myself standing still in the middle of my bedroom. At that moment, I felt as though a line (somewhat like a white string) was extended across the room from wall to wall. As I stood there, I had the thought that if I crossed over to the other side of the line, insanity awaited me. All I knew at that time was that a mental battle had been taking place almost daily for many years. I had felt like a leaf being blown in the wind with no steering wheel or rudder to guide me toward living healthy and fearless days. The question arose in my thought that day: do I want to accept the opportunity to learn and practice a life free of emotional and physical pain by relying on prayer in the understanding of life as divine Love?
Fortunately, I had begun to read and study Christian Science from Mary Baker Eddy’s book, Science and Health and the Bible. Eddy wrote, "God had been graciously preparing me for the reception of this final revelation of absolute divine Principle of scientific mental healing." I saw that I too had accepted the truth of unconditional Love having the power to deepen my own understanding of God, and give me the peace of mind and well-being that enlightens thought for the better. I also began to glimpse my spiritual identity and that goodness, strength, and wisdom were always mine. That is to say, they were not something separate from me or something I had to earn or achieve.
The understanding of Christian Science also healed me of long-standing painful and limiting symptoms such as a hip-injury from childhood, anemia and colitis, just to name a few. I could see that Christ,Truth had obviously been dawning in my thinking and feelings.
One of the passages in Mary Baker Eddy's writings (Miscellany p. 183), has always been a beacon for me from those early years of study: "Spiritual apprehension unfolds, transfigures, heals. With you be there no more sea, no ebbing faith, no night. Love be thy light upon the mountain of Israel. God will multiply thee." Truly, for me, the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures gave me the understanding of the Comforter Jesus promised us. (see John 14:16) God is Love, and Mrs. Eddy's book Science and Health gives anyone the understanding of God, good and the Holy Comforter.
I hope you can see from reading this blog that I have experienced a number of psychological and physical challenges in my life. I also trust that you can understand my gratitude for the opportunity to continue to strive in demonstrating God’s laws of health, confidence and joy. That moment of choice that I experienced in my room that day, and the continuing journey now as a Christian Science practitioner, have brought me to the rewards of hearing from others about their realizations and healings. To know our God-given ability to choose divine Love’s healing presence, control, and guidance in our lives is, what Jesus said, "the truth that makes us free."